Just received this email from my step-sister who is the Senior Regional Director - Midwest for Autism Speaks:

"A Cure for Autism" is one of the top 25 semifinalists in American Express's Members Project competition. Autism Speaks is the "Fulfilling Organization" for the project, which was submitted by the mother of nine-year-old twin boys with autism. In order to advance to the next round, we need enough votes to land in the top 5. If this project wins, Autism Speaks can receive
up to $5 million from American Express. Voting for this round ends at 11:50PM EST on Sunday, July 22. If you are an AMEX cardholder, please visit: http://www.membersproject.com/Health_Fitness/50, and vote for "A Cure for Autism."

Please help us get the word out to as many people as possible!

It's almost done! I know I posted previously that the deck and patio were done but that really only meant it was built. We've been waiting on the staining of it and that began today. They were only going to do the deck part today, with the pergola waiting until either tomorrow or Monday. So I decided to go get my nails done. DH is at the doctor, boys hanging out, I'm off to get my nails done. Yes, peace and quiet...

Nope. Right in the middle of it I got a frantic phonecall. Panic I tell you. Shear panic! "It's BLACK. SOLID BLACK. NO WAY. IT'S TOTALLY WRONG. NOW WHAT CAN BE DONE? THE. WHOLE. POST(S). ARE. DONE. #@*&!jl*&@@@." (That is not word for word but you get the point and the #@%$()%( were actually nice, not so nice words). Now, I was stuck. Apparently while I was gone the workers got the approval to start the pergola. DH came home after several posts where done and totally FREAKED. When he called he asked when I was going to be home and I didn't know what to say... 30 minutes? I didn't dare say maybe 45. The poor guys staining I know didn't know what to do. One guy just wanted to work, the other apparently really concerned with my dh's opinion. I found out later that dh told them after completely freaking out, "Really, don't pay any attention to me. I'm not the one that is driving this project and I don't know what I'm talking about!" LOL! I'm sure that did nothing to settle their nerves as this was one of the guys (the caring guys) first day. What a way to break him in!

Now I must clarify. DH always knew the pergola was going to be black. I have been going over this detail with him for a very long time. I have drawn colored pictures for him. I have gone as far as to take actual pictures of the real deck after it was built and used black markers to color the pergola black on the actual photo. I wanted him (and neighbors) to be prepared for a black pergola. I only hesitated briefly over staining it black but ultimately my design sense overtook that feeling and enabled me to declare - Black, black it should be!

The part I struggled with was the actual shade of black to go with. The original color sample I had picked up with a solid color stain. I learned that you cannot paint cedar, it will not adhere for long term due to the oils in the wood. You can however stain it a solid color. However, staining it a solid color you don't get to see the pretty wood grain. The color sample had another choice of black which was a semi-transparent BLACK that looked on the sample chart to be more of a dark grey. The wood tone (grain) showed through though. It was between these two choices and something we discussed for weeks! Ultimately this afternoon, minutes before the stain would be ordered and picked up, I agreed on the semi-tranparent stain in black. DH was standing right there. He heard the whole conversation and as a matter of fact he completely agreed (since he knew he had already lost the fight that staining it the same color was not an option).

So there I am, minding my own business, getting all pretty and everything and then the call... Dang it. I knew better. I should have waited and found out for sure that they weren't going to start on it before I got back. The worse thing could happen would be for them to begin with dh home and without my being there. DH is a visual person. He cannot imagine what anything is going to look like. I understand that, and I respect that. I help him understand by drawing him pictures, talking things through with him, what ever I need to do to help him understand. I knew even with all our discussions, no matter what shade, this was going to be a shock to his system.

I did my best to talk dh out of his panic attack and explained that all color chips are samples and are not 100% accurate. I also reminded him that if he remembered I originally wanted solid BLACK. It's not like we were wanting TAN and it came out BLACK! So I finish up with my nails, get in the car, and call home. DH answered and sounded oddly calm. He said he decided to throw up his hands and defer to me. Actually I'm pretty proud of him for that!

So I drive home wondering the whole time what I'm going to find when I get there. I knew the guys had already left because they were afraid to go any further. I pass our neighbors house where I can our deck, I barely peek out of fear on whether I'm going to like it or not but I did catch a glimpse... LOVE IT! I pull up to the house and walk around back. LOVE IT!!!! DH hanging on every word and watching me so close. Does she really mean it? Could it be... the right color? I pull my sun glasses off and I see the wood grain. This means it is the right color. I LOVE IT. It's the perfect combination of what I was wanting. I might have made a mistake if I would have gone solid. It's awesome! DH immediately relieved. We discuss, I talk him through it, show him the wood grain, explain the differences in board colors... all the stuff he already knows but forgets. We go in and call the owner of the stain company. DH talked to him. All is good.

DH keeps walking by the window and processing what I've done, the black. He knew about but now it's real. Although he does have a sense of peace about him now that I've given my approval. It's growing on him. He's content that it's the right shade and I'm fine with it. I know he will like it, I have not doubt. He just always needs a little more hand holding and time to Think Outside the Box.

All of this for a deck. And to think someday I wanted to build a custom house with dh. How will that go? Also, I've considered starting my own design biz. Maybe dh would be my toughest client. Everything happens for a reason - right?!

Once the deck is all done I will post official pictures. Soon!